The day starts early at Lewis’ house.  3:00 am is the standard reveille (but without the bugle thank God).  But who needs a horn to announce the day when you have a self-actualizing, constantly moveable, 140-pound horn?  Ah, the joys of dog ownership.  There is no feeling in the world like hearing that throaty bellowing out in the yard at 4:00 in the morning and wondering when the police are going to knock on your door.  It hasn’t happened yet, but I will keep you apprised.  I wonder if they conduct line-ups for excessive dog complaints?

Considering all of that, it makes you wonder why this blog with such a title even exists.  But trust me, if you don’t have a dog, get one.  They have personalities that will amaze you, humor you, and yes, perplex you. 

They are quite perceptive, intelligent, sneaky, mischievous, loyal, innovative, and STUBBORN.  Well, Lewis is anyway.  I try to cut him a break and blame it on the fact that he is deaf, but truth be told, he’s just hard headed.  I think the breed standards refer to it as leadership and determination.  (dog people, go figure).

Non-dog people don’t know this, but dogs can talk.  Seriously.  It takes a while for owners to learn how to translate dog speak, but it’s there.  Trust me.  For instance, Lewis has an “I’m bored” bark. He has a “feed me” bark (this one is rather pronounced, and repetitive).  He has a “what’s that” bark, usually followed by his “oh, it’s just a leaf blowing across the yard, but hey it could have been something!” bark and his corollary “It really is something” bark.                                                                                                                                       

Finally, Lewis has his top of the line bark, the “Oh *&^%” bark.  It means there really is something out here, and you need to get up and come see this, because something serious is about to go down”…bark.  I’ve only heard it once since Lewis came to own this house.  It was a dark and stormy night, no wait that’s another story.  But it was dark, 4:00 in the morning dark.  Lewis was out on the deck, and it started, the bark that will send chills down your neck.  So naturally I jumped up and ran outside, and there it was, the sight that set Lewis on fire.  Standing in my back yard, not 20 feet away was a man in the woods behind the house with a flashlight!!!  I almost let out an “Oh &^%$” bark myself.    I yelled out to him in my scariest “Oh *&^% “ voice what he was doing in my backyard with a flashlight at 4:00 in the morning.  He said he was looking for his cat who had slipped out of the house.  I thought to myself, this is how cat people get shot.  He then pointed his flashlight up in the trees, and there sat his cat staring down at us.  I’m pretty sure I learned a new bark from Lewis at that moment, something along the lines of “See, I told you so.”

It was just a cat person, but it could have been a cat burglar or worse.  Thanks to Lewis, his ability to talk made the difference. 

So, if you don’t have a dog, get one.  Be careful about getting a cat though.  They could get you shot!