Remember the Great White Shark in the movie Jaws?  Not Bruce THE shark, but the first shark caught in the movie.  Inside the monster, they found all matter of well, matter.  All kinds of fish, seaweed, ocean trash, even a car tag.  That would be Lewis, the Great White Dog.  Maybe not a car tag (yet), but close.  It makes me wonder if he has been reading the Far Side:

That boy can chew up an anvil.  And while he needs no roughage (whole different and rather unpleasant story), he has a habit of chewing things down to a molecular consistency.  When we first met The Great White, he was busy playing with a gallon milk jug while we spoke to his foster parents.  He seemed so happy, we continued the practice of tossing empty plastic jugs in his direction, whereupon he pounced on them and skittered them along in front of him like a hockey puck.  All was plastic bliss until one day we discovered what happens to things that are chewed to a state of being unrecognizable in either this world or the next. (Please refer to the parenthetical comment above pertaining to a whole different and rather unpleasant story.)

So, no more plastic jugs.  Not to be outdone, Lewis quickly changed his level of entertainment, coming down a few rungs to playing with then destroying pine boughs. A recent storm had littered the yard with remnants of pine branches.   Never one to miss an opportunity to chew, Lewis commenced going bonkers with his newfound green playthings.  It was entertaining to watch, as he took the pine bough in his mouth, tossed it up in the air, and watched it float down again.  Until it was time.  Time for the pulverizer.  Then no more pine bough.

Of course, when you strip a pine branch of its greenery, you have a whole new toy – a stick!  You know the worst thing about having a stick as a chew toy?  It’s easily transportable into the house, where it becomes so much woodchips and sawdust.  His preferred evergreen delicacy is the pine cone.  We’ve learned not to bother his majesty when he is in mid-cone.

In all honesty, Lewis has not turned his carnivorous ways toward the furniture yet, knock on…. wood (sorry).  If he could drag it around, it might be a different story.

Bruce, the Great White terrorized a small seacoast town.  Lewis the Great White only terrorizes milk jugs and pine trees…and us occasionally.  The difference is, the shark has a big fin to warn you.  Lewis on the other hand surfaces at will, grabs his pinecone, and proceeds to redecorate your house in early woodchip.